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  He was going out of his way to be fair. But Leah also couldn’t bring herself to give him the same wide-eyed look her sister had. Perhaps the difference between Leah and Erin was that Leah’s life had been destroyed by someone she trusted, whereas Erin’s tragedy was simply one of those random terrible things that tears a person apart.

  “That would be good, thanks,” she said. “You can bring them when you come to dinner.”

  At least no one could accuse her of being inhospitable. But she hated the way he smiled at her, trying to make her like him. If she was honest with herself, there was probably a lot to like about Shane. But she’d been burned by too many smiles that said, “Trust me,” and she wasn’t willing to take a chance again.

  Especially because she could feel tiny flutters of... No. She wasn’t going there.

  To take her mind off the uneasy feeling in her stomach, she took a bite of the bear claw. It was every bit as good as she’d hoped. She looked around the small café, watching these cowboys, who were probably her neighbors, interact. Why couldn’t Shane be one of those older men with the handlebar moustaches that were so completely unattractive that she wouldn’t have a problem looking at him?

  Fortunately, Erin started grilling him about the area, which took Shane’s attention off Leah. At least mostly. He still kept stealing glances at her like he was trying to figure her out or gauge her reactions. Like he cared about what she thought.

  But that was one more distraction she didn’t want, either. All she wanted was to establish a new life for herself and her sons with her sisters. There was no room in her life for some cowboy.

  She drained the rest of her coffee, then looked at her sister. “We should get back. The boys probably have Nicole tied up by now. And we should discuss what’s next with her.”

  Erin nodded. “You’re right. We’ve tossed out ideas, but it’s not fair to not include her. I know she was really in love with the idea of having some Highland cows. And chickens.”

  “And horses and goats,” Leah said, grinning. Nicole had been the most excited about having a ranch. She might hate the idea of leasing the land and not making a go of things on their own.

  Shane stood and gathered their trash. “You can still have animals. I’d be happy to help repair the chicken coop. It shouldn’t take much since Helen had chickens up until about a year ago.”

  There he went again, being helpful.

  “Yes, it will,” Erin said. “And while we appreciate all your offers, we don’t want to take advantage. You’d be surprised at how capable we are of taking care of ourselves. Leah has already done a lot of work on the ranch. You wouldn’t believe how good she is with a set of tools. It’s amazing how much the three of us can do when we work together.”

  At least Leah wasn’t alone in wanting to do as much as they could on their own. The women had discussed their frustration at feeling helpless at the end of their respective relationships. It was good for them to do things for themselves.

  Shane nodded like he understood. “I’m always happy to lend a hand. That’s what neighbors do.”

  Neighbors. Leah’s had all pretty much abandoned her when Jason had begun his downward spiral. Her sisters hadn’t seemed to have had any to speak of, at least none who’d befriended them. Helen used to talk about being neighborly, and Leah vaguely remembered barbecues and picnics. But she wasn’t sure how to translate that all into her life now.

  She wanted to believe the expression of kindness on his face, but where would trusting him get her? She’d been hurt and heartbroken too many times already. Holding out hope for someone who was probably only going to let her down was a waste of effort. Leah had her sisters and her sons, and that was enough.

  It had to be.

  Chapter Three

  Though the invitation had been friendly enough when it had been issued, Shane couldn’t help feeling unwanted when he arrived for dinner later that week. It wasn’t that they had put out a mat in front of the door that said Go Away, but they might as well have.

  Leah ushered him into the kitchen with a frown so deep, it almost made him wonder if someone had died. But since all his previous attempts at humor had gone astray with her, he wasn’t going to mention it. The house was quiet, and while he would have liked to have asked about the boys, that also hadn’t gone well the last time. Usually, he got along with everyone. But for whatever reason, he couldn’t connect with Leah.

  “Is there anything I can do to help?” he asked, hoping he sounded friendly and nonthreatening.

  With most people, he’d have given up by now. But he couldn’t forget the sadness in Helen’s voice whenever she’d talked about her girls and the difficulties they’d had in life. He wanted to think that whatever kept them so closed off was more about the tragedies they had suffered than anything he had done. But maybe it was a good place to start a conversation.

  When the shake of her head was accompanied by yet another scowl, he knew he couldn’t let it go.

  “Have I done something to offend you?”

  She stopped, holding the pitcher she’d just brought over to the sink. “No. Why do you ask?”

  “You seem distant. Like you don’t want me here. You’ve barely said a word to me, and everything I can think of saying to you, I’m afraid it will only make the distance greater.”

  Leah looked genuinely wounded by his words. Like he’d called her out in a harsher way than he’d intended.

  “I’m sorry,” she said, setting the pitcher on the counter and wiping her hands on her apron. “It’s been a rough day. Erin is interviewing at a nearby ranch to do their books, and Nicole ran to the store for more bread. The boys are asleep on the couch, and when you got here, I was focused on being quiet so they wouldn’t wake up.”

  He followed her gaze as she looked around the kitchen and realized that the room was in shambles. “I’d hoped to have everything cleaned up before you got here, but time got away from me.”

  She gave a small shrug, then pointed at the oven. “But at least dinner is cooking, and that part I know will be all right. If you can bear with me, I promise it will get better.”

  A small cry came from the other room. Leah rubbed her head. “I’d hoped they would sleep a little longer, so I could get things cleaned up.”

  Shane felt guilty for having judged her. Now that he was really looking at her, he could see the signs of an exhausted mother trying to do her best.

  “I’ve already gathered that you don’t like accepting help, but please, tell me something I can do to make it easier for you until your sisters get here.”

  Ryan walked in, wearing a shirt and nothing else, carrying a diaper. “I all wet,” he said.

  “Let me help you, buddy. Can you show me where your mom keeps your diapers?”

  Leah looked like she was going to argue, but Shane shook his head. “I’ve changed a diaper or two in my lifetime. I’ve got this. You finish doing what you need to get dinner ready. I’ll keep the boys occupied.”

  He could see her hesitation, but then Ryan pointed at his cowboy hat. “I wear hat?”

  Her resigned sigh felt less like a victory than he’d wanted, but at least she nodded. “Thanks.”

  “Let’s get you in some clean, dry pants, and then we’ll see about fixing you up with my hat.” Shane held his hand out to the little boy, who grinned.

  “I be cowboy!”

  As he took Ryan’s hand, he could see the tension ease from Leah’s face. It was hard to tell what was going on in her mind, but at least she seemed more relaxed. She turned back to the sink, and the little boy led him out of the room.

  They walked down the hall to the bedroom Helen had used when she had gotten sick. The hospital bed had been taken out, and two twin beds neatly made with denim-looking bedspreads dominated the room. Ryan pointed to a dresser that had a stack of diapers and wipes on top of it.

 
Though it had been a while since Shane had changed a diaper, he managed to get the little boy situated quickly. When they were finished, Ryan pointed to Shane’s hat.

  “I wear hat now?”

  Shane took off his hat and placed it on the little boy’s head. “Here you go, partner.”

  “I ride da horse?”

  “I didn’t bring him today.”

  His face scrunched up, and with a pang, Shane remembered the fit his brother had thrown. Was he in for the same with this little guy? Ordinarily, Shane would feel confident in his ability to handle it. But considering how nervous Leah had seemed at letting him watch her son, he didn’t want to mess it up.

  It was a mistake, getting so emotionally involved with this family. He shouldn’t care so much about Leah, but he knew that telling himself he was just being neighborly was a lie. He was an idiot, wanting to fix a woman who was so obviously broken. Why couldn’t he be attracted to the ones who didn’t seem to need him?

  Shane squatted down in front of Ryan. “How about we play horses instead?”

  “How do you do that?” Dylan stood in the doorway, the same suspicious look his mother often wore upon his face.

  At least he knew the child came by it honestly.

  “You’ve never played horses?”

  Dylan crossed his arms over his chest. “Maybe. How do you play it?”

  Shane got on his hands and knees. “Like this. We all pretend to be horses.”

  He looked over at Ryan. “What does a horse say?”

  “Neigh!” A wide grin split his face as he made the sound. Ryan also got on his hands and knees and started crawling around the floor. “Neigh,” he said again.

  Shane looked over at Dylan. “Are you going to join us?”

  “What if I want to ride the horse?”

  If it had just been Ryan, Shane would have gladly agreed. But with the way he’d seen the boys fight before, he wasn’t sure he wanted to open that can of worms. And yet, the way Ryan looked at him, he didn’t have the heart to say no.

  “You and your brother have to take turns.” He sat up and pulled his phone out of his pocket. “I’m going to set the alarm for five minutes. You can ride on my back until it rings. Then it’s Ryan’s turn.”

  “Can I wear your hat, like a real cowboy?”

  He looked over at Ryan, who was still wearing his hat. “I already said Ryan could wear it. So you’ll have to ask him.”

  Dylan reached for the hat, but Shane put his hand out. “You can’t just take it. You have to ask.”

  “Can I have a turn please?”

  Ryan smiled and took off the hat. “I be horse. You be cowboy.”

  And just like that, Dylan put the cowboy hat on his head, then climbed on Shane’s back. They pranced around the room like horses, and Dylan was surprisingly gentle. Maybe what he had experienced before had just been a bad day. The way the boys played and cooperated with him, it brought back pangs of regret at how things had ended between him and Gina. Helen had always told him that he could meet someone else and have children with her, but the options for meeting young, marriageable women in Columbine Springs were next to zero. He’d been lucky to have found Gina.

  He liked to think he would have made a great father.

  But as much as these boys reminded him of that dream, this time he wouldn’t get attached. He wasn’t going to let himself fall in love with a couple of kids that couldn’t be his. And he certainly wasn’t going to let whatever misguided feelings he had for their mother make himself want something he could never have.

  * * *

  Watching Shane play with her sons brought tears to Leah’s eyes. She couldn’t remember ever seeing Jason do that with them. Maybe Dylan, when he was small. But so much of their trouble began when she was pregnant with Ryan that the boy had never really bonded with his father. She liked how Shane got on the ground with them and played.

  A sound behind her made Leah turn.

  “He’s good with them, isn’t he?” Nicole asked. “There’s nothing more heartwarming than seeing a man interact with children like this.”

  Leah smiled at her sister. “Yes. But don’t go planning any weddings. I know how that mind of yours works.”

  “I wouldn’t dream of it. That was the old Nicole. Until recently, I believed in happily ever after, and I thought I was doing everyone a favor by shipping them. But now I have to wonder, who is it possible for? None of us seem to have figured it out, and I found out that another one of my friends is getting divorced. I don’t think forever means what any of us think it means.”

  Leah put her arm around Nicole and gave her a quick hug. Out of the three sisters, Nicole had always been the optimist. But that optimism had been replaced by a deep cynicism that made Leah want to cry. At least Erin had enough optimism for them all. How her sister managed to find happiness after so much heartbreak, Leah didn’t know. But at least they all had each other. One of the therapists had asked Leah about her resiliency, and Leah had told her quite honestly that she wouldn’t have been able to make it without her sisters. She only hoped that she was doing the same for them.

  “Thanks,” Nicole said. “I don’t mean to be such a downer, but Fernando called again today. It drives me crazy that he keeps thinking he needs to check on me and make sure I’m okay. He’s not the one who ran off with my fiancé on my wedding day. I wish he would leave me alone instead of constantly calling and trying to make it up to me.”

  This was one subject Leah knew better than to disagree with her sister on. Fernando Montoya’s sister, Adriana, had been Nicole’s best friend. At least until Adriana had run off with Nicole’s fiancé, Brandon, leaving Nicole at the altar. Unfortunately, Adriana and Brandon were killed in a car accident before Nicole could confront them. Apparently, Fernando had known about the affair and felt guilty he hadn’t done more to stop it. With Adriana and Brandon gone, Fernando liked to check in with Nicole regularly to make sure she was doing okay.

  Maybe they all were a bunch of curmudgeons who couldn’t accept help from anyone else. Though Leah thought Fernando’s concern was sweet, she could also understand why her sister wanted him to leave her alone.

  They’d all been hurt too much by the people who were supposed to be there for them. It was too exhausting to keep believing in anyone outside their circle.

  “I’m sorry he’s still bothering you. It’s probably his way of dealing with his grief. It just stinks that he has to keep dragging you through it.” She hoped her words sounded helpful and not condescending. After all, it wasn’t like she was an expert on human behavior. Otherwise, her life wouldn’t be in shambles.

  Nicole squeezed her back. “It’s not your fault. I should be more firm in telling him to go away. But I don’t have the heart to, not when I know he’s also grieving.”

  Her sister might have lost her optimism, but she hadn’t lost her heart. And if there was anything that gave Leah hope that things would work out all right for them, it was that all three of them remained steadfast in their belief in doing the right thing. So, what was the right thing when it came to the man who was interacting with her boys in a way they so desperately needed?

  Leah entered the room, swallowing her pain as she firmly told herself that she could enjoy the gift of this moment.

  “What are you guys doing?”

  A wide grin filled Ryan’s face. “We play horse.”

  Shane started to sit up, but Dylan grabbed his neck. “The phone didn’t ring yet. It’s still my turn.”

  Reaching around and patting Dylan on the leg, Shane said, “He has a point. I told the boys we could play horse, and I set a timer to let them know when their turn was over. You don’t mind waiting until we finish, do you?”

  She often used that tactic with them, giving them clear boundaries with which to set their expectations. It was nice to see that Shane automatically did the same.
The only other person to do it was Nicole, and she had taught preschool for a living.

  “Not at all. I’ve got to finish the garlic bread, and Erin isn’t back yet. You guys finish your game, then you can join us in the kitchen.”

  She barely got the assent from Shane because the three of them had already jumped back into their game.

  As she returned to the kitchen, Nicole linked arms with her. “I know we’ve all sworn off men, but it’s nice to see a man who will play with the children for a change. Half of the moms in my classes complained that the dads weren’t very active with their kids.”

  “Yes, but just because he’ll entertain a couple of boys for a few minutes doesn’t mean that’s how he’ll be as a father.”

  Nicole sighed. “True. It’s amazing how people change when you get to know them. I’m sure when you and Jason first got together, you would have never imagined how things would end up.”

  No, she hadn’t. Nicole had been the one to get a call from a concerned neighbor the first time Jason had been passed out, high on drugs, and the boys were screaming. Leah had been at work, and, as a salesperson in a busy store, hadn’t been allowed personal calls. Sometimes Leah wondered if things would have turned out differently had the neighbor not been able to reach Nicole and called the police instead. Would Jason have gotten help rather than fighting with Leah about it? Or would he have charmed them with lies and false promises the way he had everyone else?

  It didn’t matter. Jason was dead. And Leah was left to pick up all the pieces of all the broken things he’d left behind. Her sons would heal, and, even though it was nice to see them enjoying a man’s company, their lives would not hinge upon him being there.

  The two sisters finished preparing the meal. A few minutes later, Shane and the boys came in, laughing about horses.