Mistletoe Mommy Read online

  He glanced over at the disappointed looks on the faces of all the adults in the room. Even Ruby seemed to wear an expression of disapproval. This was meant to be a fun family night, and he was the one spoiling it.

  “Sorry,” he said, giving her a big smile. “Try again.”

  Maeve needed no further invitation to toss another large handful of popcorn at him. Thankfully her hands were small, but they’d still have a mess to clean up later.

  Luke caught some of the popcorn in his mouth.

  “Hooray, Papa!” Maeve ran to him and jumped on his lap. At least he was able to give her a sense of happiness and belonging.

  Now he had to figure out a way to provide the same for all the other sour faces in the room.

  “I could use a glass of that punch you made, Nellie,” he said, trying to sound cheerful. “Would anyone else like some?”

  Joining in their activity only seemed to shut it down. They all sat there, silent, staring at him.

  Luke got up and served himself some punch, then took one of the cookies they’d been enjoying all evening.

  “This is a delicious cookie, Ellen. I hope you’ll share the recipe with Nellie so she can bake some from time to time.” He gave the young woman a smile, hoping she would see it as an attempt to restore their shaky friendship.

  Ellen gave a weak smile but didn’t respond. Myrna, however, gave him a cutting look as she said, “We’ve never minded baking them and bringing some over to share. It’s the neighborly thing to do, and it provides a good excuse for us to share a cup of tea.”

  Luke looked down at the cookie he’d just been enjoying. Suddenly it wasn’t so tasty. This wasn’t about the tension over Ellen’s revelation about Diana’s death. No, this was about the stove.

  He turned to Seamus. “You were the one who suggested I get a new stove. Now that I’ve gotten it, everyone is acting like I’ve gone and done something terrible.”

  There were far more terrible things than getting a woman a new stove, especially one as nice as the one he’d bought for Nellie.

  “I suggested a lot of things,” Seamus said quietly. “But you were eager to tell me I had no business telling you what to do. I just find it strange that you’re finally starting to make some changes now. My family is no longer good enough for yours to spend time with, now that...”

  Seamus shook his head. “I’m sorry, I don’t mean to spoil the evening for the children.” He turned to Ruby. “How about you show me that ornament Myrna helped you make?”

  Luke tried to take a deep breath, but his lungs felt nearly paralyzed. Was that what his friend thought of him? That he was so angry about Ellen that he’d cut off the Fitzgeralds?

  But as he looked at the downcast faces trying to pretend they were having a good time, he realized that was exactly what they thought. As he tried justifying his behavior to himself, he found he couldn’t.

  He’d shut out everyone he blamed for Diana’s death. He’d caused an ugly scene in the middle of town just the other day.

  “I’m sorry,” Luke said quietly. “That’s not what I meant at all.”

  None of them appeared to accept his apology. Or believe his words. And how could he blame them? Though he’d been sorting out a lot of things in his mind, even thinking he’d made decisions, he hadn’t shown any of them a change in his behavior.

  This stove, which had been his first attempt at moving on, meant different things to all of them.

  Luke took a deep breath as he looked at his wife, who seemed so forlorn sitting with the Fitzgeralds. When he’d broached the subject of a new stove with her before they’d all taken ill, she’d been hesitant.

  “I’m sorry,” Luke said to her. “I honestly thought I was doing something nice for you. I wanted to get you a gift to make your life easier, and to show that I am committed to making our marriage work. I wouldn’t get rid of Diana’s stove for sentimental reasons, even though I know we could use more heat.”

  With a sigh, Luke looked over to the new room he’d built. “I see you shivering in the mornings when you’re getting the stove going. I hate seeing you dash back and forth in the cold, making sure our supper is taken care of. I guess I thought that if I got you a new stove, you’d be warmer, and you’d see that I pay attention to your needs.”

  He watched the expression play on Nellie’s face, like she almost didn’t believe that he cared for her. Her disbelief hurt him more than he thought it would.

  As much as Luke hated to admit it, he hadn’t been the best husband, father or friend lately. If the life he was living was all about trying to keep Diana’s memory alive, he was doing a poor job. She’d be ashamed of the man he’d become after her passing.

  “I know it’s not yet Christmas, but I got you another gift,” Luke said, trying to keep his voice steady and not betray the anguish threatening to spill over. “I wanted you to have your gifts as soon as possible so you could start using them, only now I’m afraid you’ll take this one the wrong way, too.”

  He got up and walked over to the chest where he kept his things. “I might as well give it to you now, and if you don’t like it, I’ll return it.”

  The boots rested on top of his wedding picture. His and Diana’s wedding, that is. He and Nellie hadn’t had a photographer commemorate their union. At the time, he’d justified it as not being necessary, since theirs was a marriage of convenience, but the longer he and Nellie were married, the more he realized that there was no such thing. Marriages were about working together, planning together, dreaming together.

  Luke had done none of those things for Nellie. He’d made all the decisions, expecting Nellie to care for his children and keep house, even though he’d initially told her they were in this together.

  “I’m sorry,” Luke whispered to the picture of him and Diana as he grabbed the parcel he’d had Mrs. Taylor wrap for Nellie.

  Luke handed Nellie the gift. “I noticed your boots are too large and probably aren’t keeping your feet warm enough. When we were ice-skating, I made note of your size.”

  Tears streamed down Nellie’s face as she took the boots out of the package.

  Did that mean she liked them? Or that she hated them as much as the stove?

  “Mrs. Taylor said they’re quite fashionable, similar to what many of the ladies in church wear. She thinks they’ll fit, but if they don’t, she said we could get you a pair that do. I just...”

  Nellie started to sob quietly, and Luke’s stomach knotted.

  “Please don’t cry, Nellie. All I wanted was to do something nice for you, since you do so much for my family, but you never ask anything of yourself. You’ve bought new things for everyone, yet you still wear the old clothes and worn boots you came with. I thought you should have something nice, too.”

  He shifted his weight, wanting to hug her or pat her hand or something. They’d once been able to comfort one another with ease, but he’d never hurt her before, never had to make up for his callousness.

  Nellie stood and wrapped her arms around him, sobbing as she hugged him tight. The children had stopped their game at some point in the exchange, and Maeve had come over to hug Nellie’s legs.

  “I’m sorry,” she said. “I was so ungracious about the stove because I thought you were using it as a reason to separate me from my friends.”

  “No cwy, Newwie,” Maeve said.

  Nellie pulled away and wiped at her eyes, then picked up Maeve. “It’s all right, Maevey.”

  Myrna handed Nellie a handkerchief. Luke took a moment to glance at his other children, who wore the same worried expression as Maeve. He’d ruined what was supposed to be a special evening for all of them.

  Shifting Maeve on her hip, Nellie turned to Luke.

  “You have given me some of the finest gifts I have ever received. No one notices my needs like that, and I�
�m very grateful for both the stove and the boots. I’ll make good use of both.”

  The constriction in Luke’s heart eased as he returned her smile. “I’m glad you like them.”

  Ruby and Amos seemed to relax and returned to their game, though Maeve still clung to Nellie.

  Seamus stood and held out his hand. “I’m sorry, friend. I wrongly accused you, and I apologize.”

  Luke shook his head. “You were right to do so. I’ve been shutting everyone out, and it’s natural that you would think I was continuing my cantankerous behavior. I’ve been a terrible friend, and you’ve all stood by me.”

  He turned his gaze on Ellen. “I keep thinking about what Diana would have wanted, and she’d be ashamed at how poorly I’ve been treating everyone in her absence. You were her best friend. If she saved you, then she’d be horrified if I were to shun you as a result. I won’t have her actions rendered meaningless because of my selfishness.”

  Ellen began to cry. Her shoulders shook with sobs as Myrna took her daughter in her arms.

  “I feel so guilty,” Ellen said. “I didn’t have a family who needed me. Why would Diana, who had so much to live for, die, when I...”

  The rest of her words were lost in her sobs, and Luke realized the weight of the pain Ellen carried. In all of this, he’d thought only about his own grief, his loss, but never what anyone else was going through. Especially Ellen.

  “Just as she would have wanted me and the children to live our best lives, she would have wanted the same for you. To live your dreams, and in doing so, honor her.”

  Some of the heaviness lifted from Luke’s chest as he spoke. He looked at his children, who’d gotten mixed up in an adult situation they weren’t old enough for. “I’m sorry I’ve been so caught up in my own pain that I haven’t paid attention to yours. That’s not what your mother would have wanted.”

  Ruby looked up at him, tears in her eyes. “I didn’t do what Mama would have wanted, either.”

  Then Ruby got up and brought the ornament she’d been working on over to Nellie. “I made this for you. Our family tradition is that we all have ornaments with our names embroidered on them. I know I didn’t do as good of a job with the lettering as you would, but I wanted to make it. I’m sorry I was so mean to you when you came. Mama would have punished me for sure.”

  Nellie took Ruby into her arms and held the crying girl. “I know. You were hurt and scared. I forgive you.”

  With as much grace as Luke had learned to expect from Nellie, she looked up at him and smiled. “And I forgive you, Luke.”

  Her words chased away the remaining heaviness in his chest, and Luke finally felt like he could breathe. But there was one more set of amends he needed to make.

  “If you all don’t have any objections,” he said, “I’d like to join you for church in the morning.”

  The smiles that greeted him were all Luke needed to finally feel like he was back on the right track. However, Amos scowled.

  “What’s wrong, son?”

  Amos let out a long-suffering sigh. “Could you please stop making everyone cry so we can have some fun? There are still some games on my list that we need to play.”

  “Absolutely. I think it’s time we all focused on celebrating this glorious holiday.” This time, when Luke smiled, he could feel it all the way down to his toes. As much as he’d been dreading the season, he had no doubt that the family was going to have a merry Christmas indeed.

  Chapter Thirteen

  Nellie couldn’t help but hum one of the songs they were working on for the Christmas performance at church. Yesterday after they’d attended service as a family, including Luke, Seamus and some of the other men from church came over and helped Luke install their new stove. She was wearing her new boots, and though she’d found it odd getting used to having shoes that fit, her feet were more comfortable than they’d been in a long time. Oddly enough, she didn’t miss the comfort of the coins in the toe of her shoe, reminding her that she had a way out.

  She didn’t need a way out. Not anymore. A man like Luke, who’d fought so hard to be a better man and was willing to admit his mistakes, was the kind of honorable man her mother had always told her to pursue. If he’d been so overwrought at hurting someone emotionally, he’d never hurt her physically. More important, Luke had genuine compassion for others, which Nellie had never seen in her late husband or any of the men he’d sold her to. Until coming to Leadville, she’d forgotten that genuine compassion existed in others. She’d been too busy trying to survive.

  “Tookie?” Maeve pointed to the stack of cookies Nellie was arranging on a plate for the children. Annabelle had invited the older children over to make Christmas gifts for their families, and they were due home anytime.

  A knock sounded at the door. Nellie wiped her hands on her apron, then picked up Maeve. “Not yet, but as soon as your brother and sister come home, we will.”

  When Nellie opened the door, her smile fell into the pit of her stomach. How had he found her?

  “Hello, Nellie.” Big Jim, the head of the gang Ernest had sold her to, stood in front of her. “Looks like you’ve done pretty well for yourself.”

  He let out a long whistle as he stepped into the room. “It’s not more than a shack, but I know what property values in Leadville are. You are sitting on a gold mine.” Big Jim chuckled. “Well, I guess the money is in the silver here, but you know what I mean.”

  Nellie stared at him. “We don’t have anything at all. Look at this place. My husband works in a smelter.”

  Her husband. Nellie took a deep breath. She’d married Luke because without the protection of a husband, Big Jim and his men could do anything they wanted to her. But now she was someone’s wife. Part of a community. She didn’t have to roll over and do what Big Jim, or any of the rest of them, wanted.

  “You need to leave,” Nellie said, trying to stay calm, aware of the child in her arms.

  “I don’t think so.” Big Jim looked around the room. “Seems you got yourself set up real nice here.”

  He picked up a cookie from the plate and took a bite. “A little dry.”

  Nellie watched as Big Jim ate the rest of the cookie, wondering how she could get rid of him before the children came home. He finished the last bite of cookie, then with one sweep of his arm, he sent the plate of cookies crashing to the floor.

  “Tookies!” Maeve’s cry made him laugh.

  “There will be more than a few cookies getting broken if we don’t get our money.”

  Though he had a pleasant tone to his voice, his face looked so menacing that if Nellie didn’t need to be strong for Maeve, she’d probably start crying herself.

  “We have no money,” Nellie said. “We’re barely getting by on what we have. I’m married now. You can’t just come in here and demand money, thinking I’m going to pay it. It’s not even my debt.”

  “I own you,” he said in a low voice.

  “Slavery is against the law.” It was harder now to keep her voice calm. It might be illegal to buy and sell people, but Nellie knew she wasn’t the only woman handed over in exchange for a man’s debts.

  Big Jim gave a snicker, same as when Nellie had tried to defy him before. And then he’d backhand her so hard she’d fly across the room. Nellie took a step back. If he hit her, she could go to the sheriff, and this time, the sheriff could do something.

  “You think they’re going to believe a woman over me?” The sound Big Jim made didn’t even seem human as he flipped over the kitchen table.

  Maeve started to cry harder, and Nellie cuddled her tighter against her body, pressing the little girl’s head to her chest.

  “One of the women I go to church with is married to a deputy. They’ll believe me.”

  She didn’t know Mary Lawson and her husband, Will, all that well, but th
ey were connected to Pastor Lassiter, and Annabelle had often told Nellie that the Lawsons would do anything to help anyone in trouble.

  Big Jim walked up to her casually, like he had no fear of the law. “You don’t think I know how to handle some low-ranking deputy?” He gave a snort. “I’ve bought and paid for more deputies than boots.”

  Some of the bravery Nellie felt started to fade. The deputies had laughed at her when she’d gone to them before, and she’d noticed a number of lawmen counted among Big Jim’s clients. Could anyone here help her? Or did Big Jim’s influence extend all the way to Leadville?

  He reached out and tugged on one of the loose curls around her face. “And I’m sure once that husband of yours learns all about the things you did at my place, he’ll be grateful to be rid of you.” With a chuckle, he added, “He might even pay me to take you away. Keep you from corrupting this sweet child of his.”

  When Big Jim tried to touch Maeve, Nellie swatted him away. “Leave her alone.”

  “Who’s going to make me?” Big Jim stepped away, then with a sweep of his arm, he knocked everything off the counter.

  “What do you want?” Tears ran down Nellie’s cheeks. “I don’t have any money. I’m just one woman. What am I to you that you can’t just let me go?”

  Big Jim walked over to the stove, where Nellie had dinner simmering. He dipped his finger in, tasted it, then picked up the pot and flung it across the room.

  “You’re an example. To every stupid woman who thinks they can run off and get away with it. And to every idiot man who thinks he can cheat Big Jim.”

  “Ernest is dead. Isn’t that enough?”

  “Not when the deed to the house he gave me was faked. Who knows how many of those deeds he made up? Now I’ve got five other guys fighting me in court with the same exact piece of paper, claiming they own the house. Prime real estate, and I’m not getting a dime. You think I’m just going to let another moneymaker get away? Not without a price.”

  Nellie swallowed her tears. Tried to calm herself, knowing that Big Jim enjoyed making women cry.